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Well…. Happy Easter. Today we mash together the celebration of the murder of the savior of the world. Not really for the murder but for the sacrifice. He sacrificed and fulfilled his destiny for the sole purpose of saving man from a life of legalism and corruption.

Why did God find it neccessary to send a form of Himself as a human? It was His ultimate love. You see, here is something you will probably not hear from a pulpit on your yearly visit to a church today. God knows the heart of man. He made it in His own image and it was pure as His until it was corrupted by sin. Sin then became our nature. By that very nature, we would never be able to make it to Heaven by following His Old Testament laws. It just wasn’t possible given how we were.

Also, the Old Testament made only an impersonal relationship with God possible. It was only through the priest sect that the Jews were able to hold a relationship with God.

When Christ came, God used the human form as a way to show all of us that He understands what we are going through in our lives. He came here as man and was tempted in every way as we are. He had sexual temptations, greed, and any other sin thrown at Him.

Through all these temptations, He resisted and remained pure. Only He was capable of such a feat but the point was the experience. It was the bond, through this all, that He formed with us. It was a personal relationship with mankind. It was the first time, since Adam bit the fruit, that He could form a personal relationship with us.

This time, the relationship was formed in spite of our sinful nature. So, He brought forth His son form to become flesh to form the relationship. He also used that form to show His love while here on Earth. He used His death to affirm who He was to us. He also used it to form a relationship to the Holy Spirit.

This assured that we no longer had to go to a priest or use anyone else to intercede between us and God. The Holy Spirit is the link in Jesus name. It is a direct link to God which is exactly what He wanted.

Now, people often remark about God letting suffering commence and things of that nature. God doesn’t just let things happen. God created life for it to grow in love. If God controls everything and everyone, there would be no love. It would be like creating a robot. It could be programmed to have the appearance of love and affection, but it would still be a program and not pure and real.

He wants real love. As a result of that, He had to give us free will to choose our paths. In that, while we can ask for His intercession, He will not pull strings and control our lives including step in and prevent every little mistake we make, be them fatal or not.

He created life to be different. When Adam ate that fruit, it all changed. We chose, as He created us to do.

Now, on to life as it exists for me today. It is Easter. I have chosen not to go to church even though I was invited by someone who I really care for and is a good friend.

I know he will be disappointed as will many of the folks in that church. I know many of them and probably am a subject of their daily prayers.

I’m sorry for that as I am not going to be an Easter Sunday Christian. Besides, my wife works in the morning today. I just will not go with my kids. If you had to get my kids ready, you would understand. It is too much for me, Mr. Mom, to do and it ain’t happening. I do appreciate the invite, though. Their are other problems involved.

That church was a part of our problem with our daughter, originally. They took in that piece of shit that helped corrupt our daughter. That little fuck used that church as a way to make him look good in the eyes of many within the church. I’ll never forget walking into that church and someone we knew and respected told us what a great kid he was. I though to myself, how fucking blind are you, you dumb shit? I never thought like that inside the walls of a church.

This was after he had already wormed his disgusting self into my daughter, physically and mentally. She had already run off with him twice and as a result, we really didn’t have much of a choice but to let them see each other in a monitored environment. I even took it upon myself to try and mentor the kid but it was all bullshit.

The conditions were violated as she/he had him sneaking in at night. When we found out, it was all over and that began an absolute year plus of living hell. It led to legal troubles, lawyers, bankruptcy, foreclosure, uprooting kids from schools, failed counseling, visits with a judge, juvenile hall, girls homes, and complete changes in our lives and lifestyle.

I can’t even begin to describe what this has done to us. But, bottom line, I don’t think that church is for us. In fact, right now, I don’t think I want to try out any damn church. I am just not ready to deal with the bullshit.

It isn’t God or His fault. Honestly, the only thing I feel bad about, is allowing this all to affect my relationship with Him. As for church and dealing with “Christians” as a whole, I couldn’t give a fuck! I got enough bullshit in my life. I don’t really want to deal with theirs or have their noses in mine. They haven’t traveled a centimeter in my shoes let alone a mile.

When it comes to that particular church, I can’t get anything out of it. Their pastor preaches for about 10 minutes and then talks about how wonderful the church is and how they need more money to build onto the church in the future. He seems like a great guy and I really like the pastors and people from a personal standpoint. I just can’t get over how gullible they were with this little fuck and how they took part in creating him to some degree.

Enough of that. Here is an update from yesterday.

-The Moose Easter Bunny wasn’t creepy or scary. What a fucking disappointment. I like and A or an F effort. In this case, I really wanted an F and ended up getting a B. The only cool part was Gavin was still freaked out by the bunny and cried. The bunny did a good job and didn’t look creepy at all. In fact, he/she wore sunglasses and I can only guess because the eyes might have creeped kids out a little bit. Whatever….

-I visited my daughter at the girls home she is in. She is 17 years old. She looks like she is in her late 20s. Seriously, it was weird. I can’t get over the tattoos on her body. This is not the life I wanted for her. I can cry when I even think about it. Seriously, I could cry like a fucking bitch. She looked healthy otherwise. She talks like someone well beyond her years. She is getting the counseling she should but maybe needs something different than what they are giving her. She seems good but it was hard to get a read on her. We had a good visit overall. It helps me to visit her. I leave there feeling deep love, regrets, and sorrow. Before I get there, I feel anger, disappointment, and doubt.

-Making the trip to Eastern PA, I can’t help but feel sadness looking at the beautiful mountains that are being ripped apart for coal and natural gas. It’s an odd sight for someone nestled in the middle of picturesque Pennsylvania. I live in an area of Appalachia that is highly educated and not that of some nightmarish horror movie about teen girls getting cut up and cooked in chili. Eastern PA coal region has mountains that are pretty much squandered for natural resources. I understand why and am not some crazed environmentalist that would strap myself to a tree but it is a shame that such beauty should be replaced by post industrial madness.

-Post industrial photography. I love it. Unfortunately, my wife is the decorator. She loves folk. For me, my ideal interior would be black, white, and gray with black and white photos of rusted and abandoned amusement parks and old industrial and apartment buildings. My ideal images would be of the Byberry mental hospital in its abandoned state. But, that’s why my wife is great. That would be depressing, stark, and with little personality. She is definitely that positive to my negative energy.

Ok, time to cook Easter dinner, put Gavin down for a nap, clean up a bit, and be productive around the house. I do feel better after talking with all you imaginary friends today. Thanks for paying attention.